Back to School

Ohhhhh...
Back 2 School
Back 2 School
To Prove To Dad That I'm Not A Fool
I've Got My Lunch Packed Up,
My Boots Tied Tight,
I Hope I Don't Get In A Fight
Ohhhh...
Back to School
Back To School
Back To School...

It’s been awhile since I have updated this blog-o-mine, but here we are…so just read my latest post already!

It is that time again, where the children are at each other’s throats, my patience is long gone and probably already crossed the Mexican border…SCHOOL TIME. Yes the beginning of a new school year is once upon us. I should be somewhat sad, as my days as a stay at home mother, are numbered. My youngest is going to kindergarten. Sad? Yes. Excited? No.

This, however, is not the most case for all mothers. First day of school, you’ll see these mothers I am talking about. They pull up to drop off their kids, almost to give them a swift kick in the ass, out the car door. Blowing sweet kisses out the window as they drive away to their nearest Target or Starbucks…or if they’re cool like me, home to go back to bed. Kidding…maybe!

However, I will not be the mother shoving my children out of the car; I will be that mom hyperventilating into a paper bag, clinging to him like a spider monkey, because my baby is all grown up. My husband will be there with me, nudging me and saying “Alyson, knock it off, you’re embarrassing me”. Dads just don’t understand.

My real reason to be extra sappy this is year, is, I will be heading back to school.
I mean, who knew that when I was five and told my teacher, “When I grow up I want to be a-Insert unrealistic dream here”, that I would be 30 by the time I actually grew up and am aiming at a big girl, real life job. A JOB, oh shit. I have a job, I’m no real housewife of Beverly Hills, with a nanny and house cleaner, or personal chef…I do all these jobs and more…now school work AND then a job. Shoot me now!!

I give props to all the single moms out there. I don’t know how you do it. Well, some dance on poles and Umm, no one wants to see me shaking my thing up on stage for money…I’m not even sure my husband would watch that.

I’m off track. As I was saying, I’m now entering a new phase in my life, err, more of our entry into a long extended absence of an earlier life. I am only taking some basic classes, with most likely a bunch of 18 yr olds fresh out of high school. You know the ones, ditzy girls wondering what to wear to Friday nights bash and young, dumb boys only going to school to meet a girl. Its Heartland folks, not Johns Hopkins, most ambition is aimed low…for the youngins, that is.

Who knows, maybe I’ll be the cool girl once again…if by cool, you mean the girl who shows up early and excuses for missing class are due to illness’ with my children or something of that nature. That and most likely my need to advise certain kids on the no-no’s to their actions. I can see it now, a kid walks in and I will most likely find myself saying “did you wash your hands after you went potty?” Oh yeah, I’m so going to be the coolest kid in school.

So there you have it, I’m going back to school. Back to the books. Adding on to my anxiety level most likely and cause for an increase of meds and most likely alcohol. Lots and LOTS of alcohol. There is real no moral to today’s post. Well, the moral of the story could be, don’t get knocked up at 22 and finish college the first time around, but with this day and age, I was pretty old when I had Bella…compared to how it is now. Hey. At least I graduated high school.

Let’s be honest, I’m doing this so my children don’t end up being smarter than me one day. Trust me; I have two children who you don’t want to outsmart you!!