Dum question or Dumb Husband

There are three things that seriously chap my ass!! Here they are, in no particular order. 1) Moms who think they know more than you do, and their child is one, while you have a seven and five year old. I mean really?! 2) When people let their kids go outside and automatically assume, since there are parents out there, they can just send the kid out for free daycare. Now least, but definitely not last 3) When my husband asks if he can help me, after I’m ¾ of the way through whatever I’m doing. Really, you waited till now to offer help. Bad timing? No. Stupid Husband? I want to say no, but…..

I love my husband, I truly do. I swear to Baby Jesus, he does it on purpose. Almost like he waits till I’m finished, to offer help, knowing I’ll say “No, thanks. I’m almost done.” What I would really like to say, oh who am I kidding-I say it, is “Seriously, you saw me lug in a 40lb of dog food, before asking if I needed help?!?” This is where things most definitely go seriously wrong with his life…
I find myself, usually after screaming at him, wondering where the hell they get this. Are they born with it, is it their mother?? While in college the brain cells lost to pot smoking and beer drinking, are the common sense brain cells, the ones that prevent him from asking idiotic questions. Yep. I was probably all the pot smoking…kidding…maybe….

This leads me to this evening; err, more like the last few days. So since Saturday I have been deep cleaning our house. Normal every day to day things. Mopping, vacuuming, dusting, bathrooms and the most dreaded…LAUNDRY. So anyone who knows me, knows I will wash the laundry, but will let it go unfolded, until say, it’s impossible to open the laundry room door. Then I know it’s time to fold clothes. I liken it to a ‘Before” scene on Hoarders.

So as I fold clothes this evening, while the kids are showering, my husband attempts to do his usual lay on the bed research geek stuff or sports on his iPhone. However, tonight since I was folding laundry and using the bed as my setting area, sitting on the bed was a stupid idea. So note, this was the first thing to get the “ticked” itch moving. So I immediately tell him to move, he say “I just wanted to keep you company.” Right. If company is what I needed, where the hell were you when I was scrubbing the shower or picking up dog poop?? No, he just figured the bed was still useable.

Anyway, he then goes to the floor and returns to his phone and asks, “Is that batter?” This really got the “ticked” itch more into a contemplating kicking him in the nuts.

So I do what comes first to my head, I ask for his help of course. Wouldn’t you believe it, that’s not what “he” meant by keeping me company. This of course turned into me calling him lazy…..BUT, he got up and hung up the clothes anyway. I enjoyed continually adding to his pile….thoroughly.

Moral of today’s post is, if you are going to offer help every other time and attempt to be lazy while I’m busy cleaning the house. You bet your ass I’m going to tell you to do something. I mean, seriously, sometimes I think our husbands think a magic fairy comes in and does all the work. Or well, so my husband acts anyway, bet he won’t ask me to help anytime soon, you know, if he knows I will answer yes!!! Smart wife, Happy Life!!!